My final thoughts

The date today is July 5, and my daughter was supposed to be returning home in two days. If you have read the last few posts, you know that she came home almost three months early due to sickness. Certainly, my view of high school study abroad has changed dramatically over the last year, and I am going to end this blog with my final thoughts.

A year is a long time to send a teenager to another country to live with another family. I have asked myself multiple times, "would I still send my daughter knowing what I now know?" and the answers have been different depending on the day. The experience was good - in fact, life-changing - for her, but so many obstacles that could have been avoided were thrown at her.

Your child's experience will pivot on the quality of and fit with his/her host family. Therefore, you want to do everything possible to ensure that your child gets a host family that is able to support him/her during the entire experience, even if the unthinkable (like serious sickness) happens.  I would encourage you to find a program that has reasonable expectations for their hosting families. A year is a long time to have a teenager from another country in their home. Look for a program, such as Rotary Youth Exchange, that provides several host families over the course of the year. It may be hard to switch families, but each family is more likely to do a better job with your child if they know it is a shorter commitment. Another option is a true exchange, such as the Sister Cities or States exchanges. Families have a direct, one-to-one exchange, with your child staying with a family whose child will also come to stay with you. In my opinion, families in this situation are more invested in supporting your child because they know their child will be on the receiving end at some point. If neither of these options appeal to your child, consider a semester-long option. My daughter was psychologically ready to be gone a year, but a semester would have been much more reasonable given that so much is out of your control.

I would also encourage you to ask about the preparation students receive before going abroad. Youth For Understanding's (YFU) pre-departure orientation was minimal, of questionable quality, and often optional (like the pre-departure orientation in Chicago). Orientation needs to be standardized and required, so that each student gets the same information no matter the quality of their local volunteers. AFS does online orientation and in-person orientation in departure cities in the few days before leaving the USA. I would also ask about the preparation that host families receive. I want to know that families have a good idea of what they are signing up for.

If you cannot find an option that meets all your criteria, consider waiting until your child is in college. Study abroad options (and scholarships) abound in college, and your child does not have to be dependent on a host family.

High school study abroad programs advertise their success stories, but you should be aware that the success stories do not always match the experience your child will have. Programs will tell your child not to have expectations about what his/her experience will be like. I think you can stack the odds in your child's favor by carefully selecting the program your child travels with.