I work in a career where traveling, living, and studying abroad is not just commonplace, it is expected. To my colleagues and the international students I work with at the university level, studying abroad as a young person is a reasonable and good choice.
That's why I am never quite sure how to respond when I get shocked reactions from acquaintances when I tell them where my daughter is this year. It usually goes something like this:
Acquaintance: "So, how is everyone?"
Me: "Great. My daughter is in Germany this year, and she just loves it."
Acquaintance: "A class trip . . . ?"
Me: "No. She is living and going to school there for her junior year."
Acquaintance: "What?! ____________________"
There are some options on the last line. One option is, "don't you miss her?" Another option is, "Don't you worry about her?" There are a lot of questions about who she lives with, what she is doing there, and how this fits into her schooling. Then the conversation usually ends with, "I could never let my child do that."
I'm not sure what they are implying when they say that - - that I don't love my daughter as much as they love their child? that I'm somehow being careless with her well-being, health, or safety?
I have generally found the best response to be, "well, she is happy."
I had a pleasant surprise one day at work when I met a new student in a graduate program who shared that her second language was German. I was completely unprepared for her response when I told her that my 17-year-old daughter was in Germany; she said, "mine is in Austria." It was great to have another mother who understood what it is like to have a teenager studying abroad. I highly recommend having someone else who has been through this adventure and who you can talk to! It's great to get feedback and ideas about what works or doesn't work, and to have someone who understands what you are feeling.
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